you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
