you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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