I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
