What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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