I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
