I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
