he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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