And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize