Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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