idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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