Don't you send me to vm
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
