I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
