Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
