I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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