I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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