My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
