It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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