Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
