Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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