he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
