i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
