We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Randomize
