I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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