Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bring money and cleavage
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
