I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
