I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
