I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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