i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
