i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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