check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
