ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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