You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
