first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize