her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
