also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
