we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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