i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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