Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
