Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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