Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
