Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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