next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize