I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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