Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
