Its about making memories worth repressing
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm getting married
To pizza
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
