she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
50% drunk capacity currently
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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