Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Randomize