I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
