Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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