Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
