you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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