Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
