as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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