You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
