I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
