sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
