i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
