yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
