goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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