Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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