Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he thought i was a dude.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize