Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
