Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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