We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
