so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
