I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
