she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
