Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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