he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
